I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
