When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
