But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
