Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
