I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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