I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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