hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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