I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
They took my balls.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
