sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
