I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
