omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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