My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
