he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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