Non-Jews are for practice
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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