real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My first STD was from a foam party
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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