he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
