where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
