this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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