We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
