So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
