Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
