I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
True strength comes from lack of pants
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
