Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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