I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
