i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
