Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize