Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
