also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I FOUND THE LEGS
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
