$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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