I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
