Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
