Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
