Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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