Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
