HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
