Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
