I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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