she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
