I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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