Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
