I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
