3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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