me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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