I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
