Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize