marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
