Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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