Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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