I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
