Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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