she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
