I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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