I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
