you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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