I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm bleeding and have questions
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
