Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
