He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
