I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
