Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
