Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
