I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
