Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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