I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
