no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you inspire me to be a worse person
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
